end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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