I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i've created a new STD.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
