i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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