we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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