Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize