Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
