remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
