Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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