We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
