piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
