I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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