i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
