I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
