im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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