I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
a search helicopter?!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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