at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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