HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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