I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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