So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
