Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
