Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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