week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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