can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
