im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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