Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
