wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
