I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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