I'm jealous of your bromance
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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