East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
