Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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