By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Randomize
