remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
