i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
