He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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