I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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