she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
