CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
