dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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