I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
