You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
