I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
