I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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