wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
