i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
