Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
