Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
