just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
