Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
