I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
