Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
