ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
