forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
