love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
